There are differences from situation to situation in case of a divorce. Some people have gone through a long period of suffering before finishing the process, while others have woken up divorced in no time.
There are different answers for the “Why does this happen?” question. Some will be related to the people involved in the divorce, the ex-husband and the ex-wife, the goods that are divided between them or what’s at stake, and last, but not least, how the lawyers solve the problem.
The truth is that the lawyers shouldn’t solve your marriage problem – they should be offering you legal advice on how to finish the marriage without too many arguments, and how to split the assets between you.
Decide For Yourself
When you have problems in your marriage, it is bets that you solve them out with the spouse. It’s advisable to ask the help of a third neutral person, and if this can still not solve your problems, you should ask the help of a mediator. It’s always best if you work through all of this with your spouse. Setting out how everything will be after the divorce will save you time, money and a lot of headache. The children situation should be solved before everything else, and once you do that, you can obtain the divorce nice and quickly, as now it is just a procedure.
Don’t Aggravate the Conflict
If you do need to hire a lawyer, it’s best that you don’t sic him or her on your spouse. It’s a fact that anguished people tend to think more about revenge for one situation or another, sharing with the lawyer almost everything – what the spouse did, what did the spouse say and so on.
The lawyer will pursue all the leads to help you win the case, exposing all the details that you have already shared. Things are not always beautiful when it comes to this, and sometimes all could be avoided with the right lawyer.
Hire a lawyer that can remain civilized and who can keep the process of divorce civil. You don’t need an aggressive approach, because that is the worse in the case of a divorce. You need to have a lawyer that will not keep the battle for your rights forever open or one who can lead you to bankruptcy.
How do you know it’s Time for a Lawyer?
Whenever you fear abuse, or whenever this has already happen, then it sure is the time to call a lawyer and ask for divorce. Abuse can have many forms – child abuse, spousal abuse, sexual abuse or substance abuse. Every one of them is serious and it makes it hard for the spouse that is abused to lead an efficient negotiation. This is certainly the case when the lawyer will help you out.
You also need a lawyer when your spouse is not honest or when the spouse shows signs of vindication. No matter the case, the lawyer will help you protect your interests, and if you find the right lawyer, the divorce will be smooth and easy.
In the case when you cannot afford to pay for a lawyer, try looking for a pro bono lawyer or program. There are some law firms that do this on a regular basis, for those people with law income and problems such as this one.
This is another case when divorce is needed – when you fear that the spouse might get violent and harm you and the children. That’s not a situation to overlook, because it is a serious problem and it needs immediate action. Go somewhere safe and if possible, get a restraining order to keep away the violent spouse. One important step that you need to do – if you have children – is to ask for a temporary custody order, otherwise you might be accused of kidnapping your own children.